A Clean Slate
by TheGirlWhoDancesWithAlphas
Summary: "so um I get it if you don't feel the same way but my resolution was to uh tell you, to start the year without any secrets you know, like a new slate."


So Stiles had a new year's resolution, which wasn't surprising. Everyone had those, Scott was something fluffy about Allison, and Erica was determined to be the hottest girl in school which obviously caused Lydia's to be the same. Isaac's was to make the pack a family, peters was along the same line, Boyd shrugged when Stiles had asked him what his was and told him he would tell Stiles when Stiles told him, so he wouldn't be finding out Boyd's until after the new year. But he knew he had one, but Derek, well Derek didn't have one.

Which Stiles really shouldn't have been too surprised about that because the guy didn't really seem like a new year's resolution type. And it wouldn't have bothered him, except that, Derek was his resolution. More specifically telling Derek how he felt about him. And part of him had been hoping at least a little that he had been Derek's resolution too.

But he knew that was stupid, he knew Derek didn't like him. But he also knew that if he didn't tell him soon it was going to explode out of him at a really inappropriate time. Like, when they were fighting a vampire or something and then Derek would get distracted and killed and it would be Stiles' fault. He didn't think he could handle that.

So he figured he would tell him tonight and blame it on the alcohol he hadn't drank and getting caught up in the moment. And well, Derek would know he was lying but at least it would give him an excuse to forget about it. And at least he would know. Stiles reasoned with himself that if Derek knew, he would feel better. In reality he knew it probably would do the exact opposite. It would probably just make everything ten times more awkward, but he couldn't just, not say anything anymore. It had been nagging at him since his birthday two months before. The big 18, the last actual reason he had why this was a bad idea. An idea that was any worse than him liking any other one of his friends, who he had to admit were just as dangerous if not more at times as the alpha.

He threw his head back, swallowing the last of the sparkling juice in the small red solo cup before scanning the room. It wasn't a big party, the pack, "the extended pack" as he liked to call them when everyone's significant others were there. Jackson, Danny, Lydia, her temporary boy toy Sam, Boyd, Erica, Scott, Allison, Isaac, Isaac's new boyfriend Jessie, Peter, Derek and himself.

It was relatively small for one of Lydia's parties meaning he managed to find Derek quick enough, hiding awkwardly in the kitchen staring at the food. "You are allowed to eat it you know." He commented apparently pulling the guy out of whatever world he had been in. he could have sworn he smiled, a little tiny upturn of the lips, but it could have just been his eyes playing tricks on him. Trying to convince him that maybe Derek didn't dislike him as much as he thought.

Which was admittedly a lot less than he had thought about, oh a year ago, they had gotten much more… amicable. Derek didn't threaten to rip his throat out, and rarely shoved him against walls, and sometimes Stiles found he missed it but most of the time he was pretty glad that their relationship had mellowed. Even if he wanted to be shoved against walls for entirely different reasons.

"I know I can." Derek replied and Stiles laughed, "so then why are you staring at it like it personally offended you?" he asked, Derek shrugged and Stiles was in that awkward position of carrying the entire conversation which wasn't usually a problem except that he was standing with the guy he was going to confess his feelings to at midnight and it was, oh great. He thought glancing at his watch, 11:58. Alright so he might as well get started on that.

"so um, I really get it if you hate me when I'm finished but I'd really like it if you listen to everything I'm about to say even though its corny and I should have been more original with my timing because I'm pretty sure this is like the cheesiest thing I've ever done." Stiles said quickly, shoving his hands in his pockets so he wouldn't wave them around. Though he just began to tap his foot instead, he had to move, he had to otherwise he would freak out. Not that he wasn't already freaking out.

He took a deep breath, 11:59 at least going by the clock behind Derek who was staring at him expectantly, "so its new years and I know I haven't told anyone my resolution but I figured it would probably ruin the idea, so I haven't but I do actually have one and I mean it's okay that you don't it's no big deal but I do and uh, god I'm shit at this." He said taking another breath and trying to remember all the times he had run through this. "Okay well, my resolution is you, well telling you. I mean telling you that I like you. More than a friend, are we friends? "He asked continuing before Derek could speak because he really didn't want to know the answer, he was afraid it would be no.

"and as I'm sure you realized by now, since you were like at my birthday party, which I think means we are probably friends, or maybe you just felt bad I had like ten people there but whatever you are aware of how old I am so I figured I might as well just get this whole thing out of the way because you are bound to find out sometime and the last thing that has been holding me back these past two years went out the window two months ago, so um I get it if you don't feel the same way but my resolution was to uh tell you, to start the year without any secrets you know, like a new slate." He said glancing down at his watch as the people in the other room yelled out the countdown.

Ten!

He looked back up at Derek who had this weird look on his face, it might have been pity but it didn't look quite like it.

Nine!

He took a breath.

Eight!

Stiles stepped forward, chastising himself because this had not been part of the plan.

Seven!

His plan had not included standing so close to Derek he could feel his breath on his face.

Six!

Not that Derek was doing anything about it, his mind countered.

Five!

He was so close.

Four!

All he had to do was reach out…

Three!

And close the gap

Two!

Derek's hands settled on his hips

One!

Stiles fell forward, lips colliding.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

It was a mess, he was too enthusiastic, Derek was too measured, he was sure he had split Derek's lip with his teeth, and was probably pulling at his hair a little too hard but for god's sake he was kissing Derek hale. Object of his fantasies since he was freaking 16 years old, he didn't really have time to be patient.

When he finally pulled away for air, his eyes sought out Derek's. Inspecting them for answers, for doubt, for interest, for anything. Stiles found the same look he had received earlier, still not sure what he was looking at he waited until Derek spoke.

"Stiles" he said hands still gripping at his hips, forehead resting against the other boy's. "Yeah" he replied, "I love you too." And Stiles grinned; because that look, the one that was so familiar but so alien, it was love.


End file.
